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Interested in gaming? Check out the Discord server! We run regular events for an assortment of games. The good news here is that you are happy with the way the school is dealing with it, so were I in your shoes, I would probably continue to operate in the role of emotional support for my son, remaining always ready to step in if I lose confidence in the school’s handling.Other Communities New to Reddit? Click here! Disable Memes | Text Posts Only You support him without blame, let him process his grief and sadness about the fact that cruelty exists, and help him figure out what he wants to do about the fact that cruelty exists. If other kids are hurting your kid and you suspect it’s because your kid is just being himself, you DO NOT tell him he needs to change his behavior. Here’s a general guideline: If other kids are hurting your kid and you suspect it’s because your kid is hurting them first, you tell your kid he needs to change his behavior. There is not quite enough information in your letter to understand precisely what you mean by “he’d be bullied anyway” because he “tends to big reactions when things go wrong,” but that framing does raise some flags for me. It is also terrible and unfair that you are suggesting that it may in any way be his fault. It is terrible and unfair that your youngest is experiencing bullying. The school is aware of the bullying and so far has been dealing with it to our satisfaction, but sometimes I can’t help wishing the 13-year-old would just dial it down for his brother’s sake. It’s likely he’d be bullied anyway (he’s the youngest and smallest at the school and tends to big reactions when things go wrong, which we’re working with him on), but having an openly gay brother is just one more thing to throw on the fire. All good, except …ġ) His 11-year-old brother is in the intermediate school attached to the secondary school, sharing the same grounds and buses, and he’s getting bullied. There have been some ups and downs, but generally he’s confident and enthusiastic in his identity and has good, supportive friends at his all-boys school and in the wider community. My 13-year-old son recently came out as gay. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Email or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group.
Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.